Camouflage

My girlfriend's colleague made a complaint to the management after she saw a security guard using girl toilet, standing, without shutting the door. She was alone during that time.

Realizing the seriousness, she reported to her Head of Department right away, and was escalated to the person in charge soon after. What I know later is, the security guard was being summoned and questioned, sat on a bench innocently, waiting. My girlfriend saw this and told me. From how she described, she felt sorry for him, thinking that he must have made such mistake unintentionally (although he is not new to the company). A few others thought the same.

Some questioned, are the witness and management overreacting? This could be non-issue, everyone make mistakes. He might be just having some mind dilemma at that time, that's why he got the wrong chamber. He doesn't deserve that. 

Me however, think that the witness has made a right move. I don't take excuse as 'mistake girl toilet as men toilet when you work there', it just doesn't make sense to me. I can never walk into girl toilet at my workplace, it just feels not right, or will you? That's why, something came across my mind: He was planning a crime! Let me explain why.

First thing, as I mentioned earlier, I do not believe that he can mistake girl toilet as men toilet when he is working there. Okay, by any chance I am wrong, still, warning and punishment should be conducted to warn him, and others.

Secondly, he did not shut the door, this looks odd to me. I know some people do that but rare. Men who tend to pee into toilet bowl will lock their door, or at least shut most of it. If he doesn't shut it at all, means this man uses urine bowl frequently, which he prefer, then he might notice the absence of urine bowl which eventually relates to 'wrong place' for him. So, this is what I think: This security guard prefers a urine bowl, and he knew he was in a girl toilet!

Lastly, if this incident has not been reported and if the security guard truly is planning crimes, he will definitely make more attempt, until someone is sex harassed or raped, and he will be caught of course, so what? Damage has been done... Compare with the warning and questioning, why pity?

Don't give your rotten apple to others

There is one saying in Chinese: 己所不欲，勿施於人

It means, if you do not want it, do not give it to others. This idiom has influenced me a lot in my decision making.

Every morning, I need to spend an hour driving to my work place (27km), and believe me, it is a terrible journey... Not to mention endless cars, those drivers are like they need to rush to the hospital to witness their firstborn delivery! Left and right, and then left again... Well, congrats, He just made it 100 meters ahead of me in 20 minutes time!

Okay, that's not my main point. During the drive, I'll need to squeeze into the primary lane from side lane. In this case, suppose the cars at the primary lane should give way to cars from side lane in round robin order, however, some people just don't. I am just thinking, when it is their turn to squeeze into the line, how would they actually think?

'That's my right, round robin rule' or 'Strongs stay up, Weaks go down' or... I don't know.

I felt grateful whenever after I signaled to get into the primary lane, and that guy/lady actually kept a distance for me to make in, it brightened my day. In return, I always did the same, following the rule, keeping a distance so that he/she does not have to be that tense. I do not like people to squeeze me out, so I never do the same. Seeing people waving their gratitude just made my world less rotten.

I am not a schemer

Last week, I re-watched my favorite movie of all time - 'The Dark Knight'. In fact, that will be my 4th or 5th time watching it, but I still enjoyed it.

After Harvey Dent was injured in the explosion, losing half of his face, The Joker visited him and tried to corrupt him. At the encounter, The Joker told Harvey that all these were not his fault, he didn't plan all that, he didn't have plan, he was not a schemer, he just DO! His action can be described as a dog chasing a car, he didn't know what to do with it when he caught it.

Indeed, when a dog chases a car, it has a goal, but without a purpose. It chases for the sake of chasing, or by its instinct. Simple thing, but it struck me hard to the bottom of my heart -- Am I like the dog? If someone ask me about my goal, I would say it is wealth. But what do I do after I got it? I can't answer now still at 38.

So, I need to keep on asking myself, "Am I the dog chasing the car?"

The job offer

My girlfriend is an instructor in finance sector. Working in a decent size company, I can see that she is quite satisfied with her current, as she has a lot of nice friends there, got the chance to work as emcee for big company event, being pampered by her manager and so on. Generally, she gets the recognition from the company and people, so, it is less likely that she will go for another new job, especially when she only joined one year back.

Last month, a company called her for an interview. At first, she wanted to reject the interview, but after discussing with me, she had decided to go for a walk there.

“It is never a harm to go for a look. Even you are not going to join, but I think it is good for you to go there, see what your market price is, and most importantly let them assess you. I believe that you definitely will feel great and gain more self-confidence if you get a good mark from them.”

She went, and went again a week later for second interview, she is wanted. The only concern at that time is the annual bonus payout for her current company will be four months later. It will be such a lost if she joins the new company right away. So I told her, unless the new company is willing to pay extra 2 months of salary (as compensation of the annual bonus), don’t take it.

“I would really love to take up the offer, but Anne (to take the talk to a personal level), I must be honest with you, that annual bonus that I am getting is crucial for me, as I have huge commitment every month, it will be like my ‘only saving’ of the year… If you are me, what will you do?”

She told the HR, spoke the deal. The HR told her that there is never a policy as compensating annual bonus in the company, which I agreed, but I know it doesn’t mean impossible, this kind of thing can be adjusted, can be justified. Moreover, we are not talking about tens or hundreds of thousands. I wanted my girlfriend to bring the conversation down to personal level because people tend to be on firm ground when they represent the company, however, if you are able to make them to visualize your stance as an individual, they might just move away a bit and make way for you!

My expectation proven right, when the new company called my girlfriend yesterday, saying that they are willing to pay the compensation!

I do not hope that my sharing will ruin your wonderful job opportunity. My girlfriend’s case comes with two conditions: (i) I know the hiring manager needs her very much; (ii) She was prepared to lose the offer.